A hundred years ago, during my youth group days, we had a puppet ministry. We would "entertain" during VBS, and even traveled to different churches to help with their VBSs. We had some very talented "script writers". I remember (and relate to) one script that was based on the story of the 10 Lepers. I don't remember the entire script, but at one point, one of the lepers realizes his legs had been healed and he shouts, "I've got legs; I've got legs". He asks one of his fellow lepers where his legs were, to which leper #2 replied, "I must have left them in my other suit". (Remember, this script was exagerated to entertain children!)
This is how I have felt! For years, I couldn't understand where these legs I have came from. I haven't always had these legs. So for years, it felt like I must have left my "good legs" in my other suit. And, come Thursday, I'll be able to shout "I've got legs; I've got legs"!!
Thank you God!
Friday, February 3, 2012
As So It Continues.....
Well, I start a new phase of my journey on Monday. I will be having surgery to remove all the lymphedema tissue that hangs between my legs along with my belly fat. When all this is finished, I will have normal legs and be able to do things I haven't been able to do in 15-20 years.
It really amazes me! To think that for all these years, I thought I was just fat! I thought there was nothing I could do to help with my legs but diet and exercise. But, no matter how much of that I did, my legs never got "thinner". I would tell people it felt like I had a ham tied to each leg and if I got to moving too quickly, they would start swinging and throw off my balance!!! Again, I'm thinking this is all me being fat!
It wasn't until June of this year that I first heard the word "lymphedema". This is a condition of the lymph system that prevents your body for eliminating fluid, in my case, from my legs. I learned that no matter how much exercise I did, my legs would not get thinner because of this condition. And, because I have had this for at least 15 years, my case was horribly out of control. I've been working with doctors and nurses at a wound clinic to heal a diabetic ulcer. They have helped me to understand my condition but really had no idea what to do about it. The doctors told me that surgery would be very risky because it would involve the lymph system. One even told me that they had never seen a successful result from lymphedema surgery but had seen many that had gone bad. One nurse and one doctor, however, felt that if any place could provide the help I needed, it would be with the doctors at UT Southwestern. And they were right!
I met with Dr. Trussler on January 6 to talk about getting a "skin flap" for my wound. This is where they take some skin and "flap over" the wound to seal it. If it took, it would allow my wound to heal. After 6 months of working with wound care, hyperbaric treatments, and wearing a wound vac, I was ready to "get this over with". My underlying reason for meeting with Dr. T was to see if he could help me with my lymphedema. Fingers crossed and prayers said, I met with Dr. T. He says, "We could do a skin flap but that wouldn't solve the problem. Your problem is the excessive lymphedema tissue and until we remove that, you will continue to have problems with ulcers and wounds." What? Remove? Do you mean surgery? But, I thought it was so risky. "Oh no", he says, "we do it all the time." WHAT??? You do this all the time! You mean, there is a surgical solution to this problem. "Yes. And even though lymphedema is a chronic condition (meaning I will always have it), once we remove the excess tissue, it will be manageable." Eureka!!!! Hope at last!!!
Sooooo, Monday, I enter the hospital to prepare for this surgery. I will be in bed, on IV antibiotics, and with my legs elevated to remove as much liquid as possible for 3 days. Then on Thursday, the magic happens!! And, thanks and glory be to God, I will have "new" legs!!!
It really amazes me! To think that for all these years, I thought I was just fat! I thought there was nothing I could do to help with my legs but diet and exercise. But, no matter how much of that I did, my legs never got "thinner". I would tell people it felt like I had a ham tied to each leg and if I got to moving too quickly, they would start swinging and throw off my balance!!! Again, I'm thinking this is all me being fat!
It wasn't until June of this year that I first heard the word "lymphedema". This is a condition of the lymph system that prevents your body for eliminating fluid, in my case, from my legs. I learned that no matter how much exercise I did, my legs would not get thinner because of this condition. And, because I have had this for at least 15 years, my case was horribly out of control. I've been working with doctors and nurses at a wound clinic to heal a diabetic ulcer. They have helped me to understand my condition but really had no idea what to do about it. The doctors told me that surgery would be very risky because it would involve the lymph system. One even told me that they had never seen a successful result from lymphedema surgery but had seen many that had gone bad. One nurse and one doctor, however, felt that if any place could provide the help I needed, it would be with the doctors at UT Southwestern. And they were right!
I met with Dr. Trussler on January 6 to talk about getting a "skin flap" for my wound. This is where they take some skin and "flap over" the wound to seal it. If it took, it would allow my wound to heal. After 6 months of working with wound care, hyperbaric treatments, and wearing a wound vac, I was ready to "get this over with". My underlying reason for meeting with Dr. T was to see if he could help me with my lymphedema. Fingers crossed and prayers said, I met with Dr. T. He says, "We could do a skin flap but that wouldn't solve the problem. Your problem is the excessive lymphedema tissue and until we remove that, you will continue to have problems with ulcers and wounds." What? Remove? Do you mean surgery? But, I thought it was so risky. "Oh no", he says, "we do it all the time." WHAT??? You do this all the time! You mean, there is a surgical solution to this problem. "Yes. And even though lymphedema is a chronic condition (meaning I will always have it), once we remove the excess tissue, it will be manageable." Eureka!!!! Hope at last!!!
Sooooo, Monday, I enter the hospital to prepare for this surgery. I will be in bed, on IV antibiotics, and with my legs elevated to remove as much liquid as possible for 3 days. Then on Thursday, the magic happens!! And, thanks and glory be to God, I will have "new" legs!!!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Why Are You Smiling?
Let's go back about 3 months, when I went for my fill and had ONLY lost 0.8 lbs. When I walked into the "holding room", my friend asked how I did. I told her, I only lost 0.8 lbs! A man in our group (who I had never met), after hearing me say this says, "Then what are you smiling about? You came in here this morning smiling, and you're still smiling!" I looked at him and said, "What reason do I have not to smile?"
Even if I wasn't on a life changing journey, what reason would I have not to smile? I have people in my life who love and care about me - I have a job I enjoy - I have a growing relationship with my Savior - I'm rich (compared to the rest of the world) - I have a home in heaven. I am blessed beyond measaure! Who wouldn't be smiling?
Even if I wasn't on a life changing journey, what reason would I have not to smile? I have people in my life who love and care about me - I have a job I enjoy - I have a growing relationship with my Savior - I'm rich (compared to the rest of the world) - I have a home in heaven. I am blessed beyond measaure! Who wouldn't be smiling?
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Nervous
I went to church this morning for the first time in 6 or 7 months. And it was wonderful!!!
I must tell you though, when I woke up this morning, I was really nervous about going. I'm not sure why. I feel that everyone there loves me, cares about me, encourages me, supports me. No one ever judges me or says mean things. So why was I so anxious about going to such a loving and supportive place?
It seems pretty obvious now that it was just Satan working on my insecurities! What if I haven't lost enough weight for people to see? I'm still walking very slowly, and my walk is still more of a waddle than a walk. I still can't stand very long or walk very far. Will everyone be disappointed in me if I don't meet their expectations?
Well let me tell you, even on the Lord's day, Satan is at work. I walked in and was immediately met with smiles, and waves, and thumbs up! My "family" came up to me and told me how great I looked, how much they could tell, you seem to be doing so well, we've missed seeing you, etc. I got hugs and pats on the back! The kindest and supportive words were given to me. Jim's lesson (one point) was "don't lose heart". I just sat in my spot and let big tears run down my cheeks. And I thanked God, my father, for bringing me to this wonderful place! And I told Satan to leave this place and never return! It was just a wonderful, wonderful, spirit-renewing morning! I love my church family! I love my Lord! I love you!
Can't wait until next Sunday!!!
I must tell you though, when I woke up this morning, I was really nervous about going. I'm not sure why. I feel that everyone there loves me, cares about me, encourages me, supports me. No one ever judges me or says mean things. So why was I so anxious about going to such a loving and supportive place?
It seems pretty obvious now that it was just Satan working on my insecurities! What if I haven't lost enough weight for people to see? I'm still walking very slowly, and my walk is still more of a waddle than a walk. I still can't stand very long or walk very far. Will everyone be disappointed in me if I don't meet their expectations?
Well let me tell you, even on the Lord's day, Satan is at work. I walked in and was immediately met with smiles, and waves, and thumbs up! My "family" came up to me and told me how great I looked, how much they could tell, you seem to be doing so well, we've missed seeing you, etc. I got hugs and pats on the back! The kindest and supportive words were given to me. Jim's lesson (one point) was "don't lose heart". I just sat in my spot and let big tears run down my cheeks. And I thanked God, my father, for bringing me to this wonderful place! And I told Satan to leave this place and never return! It was just a wonderful, wonderful, spirit-renewing morning! I love my church family! I love my Lord! I love you!
Can't wait until next Sunday!!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Humbling Thought!
I was at Monday Night Bible Study last night. I was sharing part of my journey with them and just rattled on and on. I tell you, since my surgery, I just can't stop talking. So then after the study while we were discussing things, I again had to tell a few stories. After study, several of these ladies came up to me and told me they didn't realize I ever talked!!! Some said, I just love to hear you talk; you are so encouraging! That kind of surprised me because I've always felt that I was a chatterbox. But here these women, whom I love and share everything with, didn't realize how outspoken I was.
I knew that I had withdrawn from life during the past months, but I don't guess I knew how much until last night. Even when I was still going to things, I was shutting down. I didn't participate, didn't comment, didn't offer any encouragement. I would sit in my chair, listen, and not interact with anyone. Apparently, I hid everything about myself from everyone who "shared my space". It's a wonder that I have any one - friends, coworkers, church family - that still has any kind of love and concern for me. And yet, I have sooo many people who love me and care about me. It is so humbling! And such a gift!
I have a lot of "making up" to do. I have so much giving to do to let these caring souls know how much their love for me means to me. In fact, I can never repay the gifts - prayers, prayers, prayers - they have given me. All I can do is my best to do what God wants me to do. I can do the best I can to make this new journey successful. I can do the best I can to show my appreciation. I can do the best I can to make sure each person knows how much I love them. But, my best alone will never be enough. God's grace is the only thing that will make my best worthy. And I pray His grace on all of us. That we may always do our best - to love, to encourage, to support. God bless us, everyone!
I knew that I had withdrawn from life during the past months, but I don't guess I knew how much until last night. Even when I was still going to things, I was shutting down. I didn't participate, didn't comment, didn't offer any encouragement. I would sit in my chair, listen, and not interact with anyone. Apparently, I hid everything about myself from everyone who "shared my space". It's a wonder that I have any one - friends, coworkers, church family - that still has any kind of love and concern for me. And yet, I have sooo many people who love me and care about me. It is so humbling! And such a gift!
I have a lot of "making up" to do. I have so much giving to do to let these caring souls know how much their love for me means to me. In fact, I can never repay the gifts - prayers, prayers, prayers - they have given me. All I can do is my best to do what God wants me to do. I can do the best I can to make this new journey successful. I can do the best I can to show my appreciation. I can do the best I can to make sure each person knows how much I love them. But, my best alone will never be enough. God's grace is the only thing that will make my best worthy. And I pray His grace on all of us. That we may always do our best - to love, to encourage, to support. God bless us, everyone!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Prayer Request
This last Thursday, I went to the doctor to have my first "fill". A fill is when the doctors add fluid to your lap band. Anyway, because it way my first fill, there were a group of us that met together. We had a group discussion, then each one got their fill, then we finished with more discussion.
While we were waiting on each other to get their fill, we were talking about things we had encountered. It's amazing how all of us were going through a lot of the same things. There were these two women who were walking about the things they had been eating. We had still not added beef, pork, or breads to our diet. Before I continue, it's important to know that after your fill, you go through a restricted diet again. Day 1 is clear liquids; day 2 is pureed foods; day 3 is soft/canned foods; and day 4 is full diet.
One of these two women commented that she had had a hamburger the night before. She knew she had to have something good since she was going to be on liquids for 2 days. A hamburger!!! That wasn't in our diet yet. The second lady commented that she had mexican food the night before, for the same reason! Again, not on our diet yet!
I was shocked that folks were already cheating!!! It has only been 4 weeks!!! I was trying not to be judgmental, but its hard sometimes. So, I've decided I need to be in prayer for these ladies and for myself. I'm asking God that He help these ladies with their temptations. I am also asking Him to help me know how to encourage them. I don't want to be "holier than thou" about the whole situation but I don't want to see them giving in so early.
I am really concerned about one of the ladies. She has previously had gastric bypass. She did well, lost weight, and then started putting it back on. So she's opted to have the lap band. I'm afraid that she's already setting herself up for failure. I'm concerned that if she is not successful with lap band, she may give up all together. I don't have anything to base this on except for personal feelings. If I fail at this lap band, I'm not sure how I would handle things!
So, I am asking that you pray with me for these ladies. I want success for everyone that enters this program! And, as we know, God is the only one that can make that happen!
While we were waiting on each other to get their fill, we were talking about things we had encountered. It's amazing how all of us were going through a lot of the same things. There were these two women who were walking about the things they had been eating. We had still not added beef, pork, or breads to our diet. Before I continue, it's important to know that after your fill, you go through a restricted diet again. Day 1 is clear liquids; day 2 is pureed foods; day 3 is soft/canned foods; and day 4 is full diet.
One of these two women commented that she had had a hamburger the night before. She knew she had to have something good since she was going to be on liquids for 2 days. A hamburger!!! That wasn't in our diet yet. The second lady commented that she had mexican food the night before, for the same reason! Again, not on our diet yet!
I was shocked that folks were already cheating!!! It has only been 4 weeks!!! I was trying not to be judgmental, but its hard sometimes. So, I've decided I need to be in prayer for these ladies and for myself. I'm asking God that He help these ladies with their temptations. I am also asking Him to help me know how to encourage them. I don't want to be "holier than thou" about the whole situation but I don't want to see them giving in so early.
I am really concerned about one of the ladies. She has previously had gastric bypass. She did well, lost weight, and then started putting it back on. So she's opted to have the lap band. I'm afraid that she's already setting herself up for failure. I'm concerned that if she is not successful with lap band, she may give up all together. I don't have anything to base this on except for personal feelings. If I fail at this lap band, I'm not sure how I would handle things!
So, I am asking that you pray with me for these ladies. I want success for everyone that enters this program! And, as we know, God is the only one that can make that happen!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
This Special Group of Women
I want to tell you about this wonderful group of women that meets together every Monday night for Bible Study. They are powerful prayer warriors. God uses these women mightily in His service.
These ladies are a mixed group. We have everyone from very young wives and new mothers to grandmothers. We have high school and college students participate. We have people who have been members of the church all their lives and some who are just starting their journey. Ladies from other nations and states have all chosen to meet on Monday night. Our "problems" are universal - marriage problems, problems with our kids, aging parents, illness, job loss, death - you name it and this group has experienced it. One thing we always promise to each other is this - what is said in our Bible Study room stays in the room. It's a safe place to come and talk about your most secret needs, desires, concerns, fears. You can confess anything to this group and no one is ever judged. Love is the healer! We will pray and pray and pray for God to meet our needs. While waiting for God, we encourage, support, and love each other. We open ourselves on those Monday nights to God and what he wants to accomplish during our time together. Many times, our leader has set aside the lesson because someone in our group had a need, and God wanted to use us to help.
I can't share with you any of their stories. (We have this promise, remember!) And God has done some powerful and miraculous things. But I can share my story about how God used these women to save my life.
My wonderful friends prayed for me off and on for about a year. I had been slowly withdrawing from everyone. It was such a struggle for me to go to Bible Study that I finally just quit. And that was so hard for me. This group had been with me during my mother's illness and death, during the financial struggles of her funeral, etc. As I began to withdraw, they began praying for me. I'm going to say for at least 5 months, these ladies prayed and talked about me. During these 5 months, these ladies continued to send me encouragement, they'd call me and let me know how much I was missed, they offered to help in anyway they could. They were praying for me and loving me every day. It's really a humbling thing to know that sooooo many people care about you and are concerned about you. I'm fortunate enough to have a couple of groups like this in my life. I'll tell you about the others on another day.
One day at Bible Study, they were going over prayer requests and I was mentioned again. One of the ladies asked, What are we going to do about Landa? They had been praying and praying but didn't know what to do. That was the catalyst that started my journey. It's as if God said, okay, let's do it. The time is now!
A couple of these ladies went to Jim and asked if he would approach me about the lapband. One of them had done research, had found a place, etc. Jim and I talked, mostly through email. We talked about a lot of my "fears" so that we could get rid of any excuses I still had. And then God laid out the plan.
Last night, I went to study for the first time in at least 6 months. It was wonderful. Every lady, even the ones that had joined the group after I dropped out, were glad to see me. I got hugs and kisses, encouragement, fellowship - it was wonderful! I missed my ladies and was so glad to be reunited with them. I've "rejoined" a part of my life! And it is amazing!
I want to encourage you women reading this to find a group of women you can pour out your heart to. A group that will cry with you, laugh with you, celebrate with you, work with you, worship with you, pray with you. A group that accepts you no matter - worts and all. And then when you do, thank our God every day for this wonderful blessing. It is life changing!
These ladies are a mixed group. We have everyone from very young wives and new mothers to grandmothers. We have high school and college students participate. We have people who have been members of the church all their lives and some who are just starting their journey. Ladies from other nations and states have all chosen to meet on Monday night. Our "problems" are universal - marriage problems, problems with our kids, aging parents, illness, job loss, death - you name it and this group has experienced it. One thing we always promise to each other is this - what is said in our Bible Study room stays in the room. It's a safe place to come and talk about your most secret needs, desires, concerns, fears. You can confess anything to this group and no one is ever judged. Love is the healer! We will pray and pray and pray for God to meet our needs. While waiting for God, we encourage, support, and love each other. We open ourselves on those Monday nights to God and what he wants to accomplish during our time together. Many times, our leader has set aside the lesson because someone in our group had a need, and God wanted to use us to help.
I can't share with you any of their stories. (We have this promise, remember!) And God has done some powerful and miraculous things. But I can share my story about how God used these women to save my life.
My wonderful friends prayed for me off and on for about a year. I had been slowly withdrawing from everyone. It was such a struggle for me to go to Bible Study that I finally just quit. And that was so hard for me. This group had been with me during my mother's illness and death, during the financial struggles of her funeral, etc. As I began to withdraw, they began praying for me. I'm going to say for at least 5 months, these ladies prayed and talked about me. During these 5 months, these ladies continued to send me encouragement, they'd call me and let me know how much I was missed, they offered to help in anyway they could. They were praying for me and loving me every day. It's really a humbling thing to know that sooooo many people care about you and are concerned about you. I'm fortunate enough to have a couple of groups like this in my life. I'll tell you about the others on another day.
One day at Bible Study, they were going over prayer requests and I was mentioned again. One of the ladies asked, What are we going to do about Landa? They had been praying and praying but didn't know what to do. That was the catalyst that started my journey. It's as if God said, okay, let's do it. The time is now!
A couple of these ladies went to Jim and asked if he would approach me about the lapband. One of them had done research, had found a place, etc. Jim and I talked, mostly through email. We talked about a lot of my "fears" so that we could get rid of any excuses I still had. And then God laid out the plan.
Last night, I went to study for the first time in at least 6 months. It was wonderful. Every lady, even the ones that had joined the group after I dropped out, were glad to see me. I got hugs and kisses, encouragement, fellowship - it was wonderful! I missed my ladies and was so glad to be reunited with them. I've "rejoined" a part of my life! And it is amazing!
I want to encourage you women reading this to find a group of women you can pour out your heart to. A group that will cry with you, laugh with you, celebrate with you, work with you, worship with you, pray with you. A group that accepts you no matter - worts and all. And then when you do, thank our God every day for this wonderful blessing. It is life changing!
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